Friday, April 27, 2007

Hug a Little Tighter

This week has been a hard one. A 17 year old boy from the youth group I worked with at our previous church died. His parents were our Sunday School Teachers. He had a twin brother. It is not known (by the public) if it was an accident or suicide. It doesn't really matter, all that matters is a sweet kid is gone. Hard to imagine it was suicide, no note, no known problems, wonderful family. He shot himself. The whole family was home, he got up out of the living room and went to his bedroom. They heard the shots. Oh, what they must have found.

It makes me think of my children. Still young - 12, 10, and 5. I pray they never feel like the only answer to life is to end it. I have felt that a few times in my life. Thus, the determination to give my children a better life. One with a mother and a father. One with morals, standards, expectations. One where they learn about Christ, His love, His forgiveness, His pursuit of them. One where they learn about Hell, and the choice they will have to make. A life in which they don't get all the "yes" answers they want, but they do get enough to know they are special to us and to God. A life HWH and I are involved in.

The kid that died had all that too. It didn't change the course of events. I know this boy is home with Jesus right now though. And his parents cling to the day when they'll see him again in heaven. I pray, I beg the Lord, please don't ever make me go through something like that.

I think about that evening (Monday) - and what they must be thinking. "If only we'd gone out to eat. If only I followed him into his room. If only I hugged him one more time and told him how much I love him. If only . . . . Maybe he'd still be alive." That's what I'd be thinking.

The visitation tonight lasted 4 1/2 hours for them. I'm sure they appreciated the love and support. But if you ask me, it would have been 4 1/2 hours of hell. I wouldn't want to get out of bed for weeks. Though I know I would be able to lean on the Lord to get through it all.

All things work for God's glory. This too shall do so. It's not for me to understand or agree with. My responsibility is to trust God, that He knows what He is doing.

I now make it a point to hug my kids a little tighter. Hold on a little longer. Kiss a few more spots on their face. Smile at them more often. Keep my words and tone a bit sweeter. Treasure them like the gift they are.

I do NOT wanna outlive any of my children.

Treasure them, talk to them, take them to church, pray with them, smile at them, stay married for them, get along for them, love them. Once you bring them into this world, it is no longer all about you and what you want, feel or desire. It's about producing happy, secure, normal kids. Be a parent, be a spouse - it's a choice you have to make, a choice you must make every day, sometimes every hour. But they are worth it. every little bit . . . .

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